I am privileged to share with you the goodness of God in my life. Before knowing Christ, my life may be summarized in three words: resentment, unforgiveness, and regret.
Resentment, due to the circumstances I had experienced growing up and the tragic event we had back in August 2010. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and I was preparing to attend the interment of my friend’s mother when we heard the news that my father was stabbed to death. This covered us with great grief, worry, fear, and rage. With pain and anger in our hearts we wanted to avenge our dad’s death with our own hands. I was filled with unforgiveness and regret which I carried for years. Revenge was still in my mind many years after even when I was already preoccupied with work. I had a specific plan on how to execute it, but the Lord was gracious and never late because even before I could act on it, God had reached out to me first.
I accidentally bumped into an old colleague on a long bus ride in January 2013. Out of nowhere, he started to share his life with me. He talked about how he dealt with having to live in a dysfunctional home growing up without a mother or a father made a huge impact on me. He invited me to join a small group and then to church. It was weird to me at first, but I did not resist his invitations not knowing that that was the turning point of a new start in my life. I encountered Jesus when while reading the book of Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life. While going through Chapter 2, I was struck by the words “You are not an accident.” Every detail of my life was planned by God. Comfort washed over me and I knew it was the Lord. It was an eye-opener for me to accept that God had a purpose for everything, including what happened to my father. I may have lost my earthly father, but I was reconciled to God my heavenly Father through Christ.
In Christ, I learned to forgive every person who had hurt me in the past. I also forgave myself for the regrets that I had held for years. In Christ, I was healed and freed from the bondage of resentment and bitterness. In Christ, I realized that every circumstance is not an accident, good or bad. He does not allow things to happen in vain. God is gracious. As He said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” This has become my life verse since.
Time had quickly passed, and we had barely thought about the tragic death of my father 10 years ago. Until the morning of December 7 last year. I got a message from my sister that the person responsible for my father’s death has been caught by the police. We wondered how this happened because we thought it was already a forgotten case. I didn’t even know how to respond to my sister’s message. So, I prayed. Then, I saw the photo of the suspect and I felt pity for him because he looked old and he has to spend the rest of his life behind bars. But at the same time, I was glad that justice would finally be served regarding the murder of my dad. I am praying that this turn of events would help in the total healing of our family’s pain and that it wouldn’t stir up anger especially during the court trial. I am casting everything to the Lord.
2020 had been a challenging year for everyone, but it was also the year when God had answered most of my long-standing prayers and even the forgotten ones. I am more confident and assured that I have a just and covenant-keeping God whose timing is perfect. As He said in Isaiah 60:22, ” At the right time, I the Lord will make it happen.
To God be the glory!